The ending of marriage brings many emotions and new situations along with it – most of them to be expected but some may surprise you. While there is no one “right” way to deal with the grief of the loss of a partnership, a union and the life you expected for yourself, there are a few things you can do to help yourself move through this significant life transition.
Be kind to yourself throughout the process
Divorce is not a race but a marathon. It could be a long and emotional process to complete all the paperwork and just as the divorce will not be finalized immediately, nor will your emotions about it. It is perfectly normal to feel many different stages of grief throughout the divorce process, but by allowing yourself to feel and acknowledge each one, you’ll be able to process what the divorce means to you entirely.
Surround yourself with support
Don’t go through your divorce alone. It may be tempting to shield your family and friends from the grief you’re feeling, but you need them! Now is the time to reach out and surround yourself with people that love and support you. Whether they’re there for emotional support, to watch your children during lawyer appointments or to just distract you from your troubles and keep your spirits high, a support system is vital. These trusted friends and family members care about you and want to help you through this life transition. Resist the urge to isolate yourself as it may only leave you with feelings of bitterness and anger.
Maintain contact with your children
Just as you’re going through this divorce, your children are as well. It is a confusing and emotional transition for children to see their home life change. But by staying involved in their lives and allowing them to see that even though their parents aren’t together anymore, that they are still loved and supported by each parent separately will give them the reassurance they need. Communicate to your kid’s teachers what is happening at home and, if possible,
Be prepared for the financial impact
For some, divorce can shake up your financial situation. You may be going from two incomes to one or going from a single income to needing to find your own source of income. Divorces are expensive, and some of the costs can affect you for many years to come, i.e. alimony, child support, and having to pay out half of your retirement savings to your ex-spouse. This is the time to be conscious about your spending and if possible, to connect with a financial planner. They can help you to understand what you need for a living wage in the immediate and how you can set yourself up for future financial success such as retirement savings.
Seek out professional help
Just as you would get a financial planner to help you sort out your money, you may find that you need someone to help you sort out your emotions. Don’t be afraid to seek out professional help to help you process this life transition. You may feel stuck and don’t know where to go from here. Our founder, Kim Falahati, is a certified life coach and has a degree in Psychology. We can help you Map Your Way to the next chapter. We help you move out or into a new place and with no extra charge for the emotional help process.
While it is easy to only think of divorce as the end of something, it is also the beginning of a new life for you! Embrace the opportunity to dive into your career, find a new activity you have a passion for, try that workout class that has always intimidated you, make new friends and find the joy in everyday life. Divorce is a difficult transition to make, but once you’re through it and on the other side, you’ll see how bright life can really be!
Family Matters can help you through this transition and help you to map out what your next chapter looks like. We have years of experience assisting with family transitions and can make the process easier for all.
Need some help on where to start and who to talk to? Come to Divorce Angels! We